(1) Accept people as they are and don’t try to change them. You say, “I’ll only forgive them if they change.” That just keeps you tied to them, obsessing over what they did and demanding they act in ways that you approve of. Nothing makes people less willing to change than when you try to control them and demand that they meet your requirements. Changing people isn’t your job—it’s God’s job! Your job is to choose to forgive and leave the outcome in God’s hands. The formula for healing is simple: forgive, let go, and let God.
(2) See your offender as God’s tool for your growth. It’s easier to forgive someone when you stop seeing them as Satan’s agent sent to destroy you, and begin seeing them as God’s instrument to develop you. The life of Joseph speaks to this principle. The path that led him from the pit to the palace was paved by injustice, disappointment, and betrayal. But God used each painful circumstance to get him to his destiny. And God can do that for you.
(3) Try reconciling with your offender. Reconciliation is God’s nature. “When we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son” (Ro 5:10). And what God did for you, He wants you to do for whoever you are at odds with. Jesus made reconciliation a top priority by saying, “Leave your gift there before the altar…First be reconciled…then come and offer your gift” (Mt 5:24 NKJV). Yes, it will take selflessness and humility on your part, but the return is worth the investment!
“Forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.” Col 3:13 NIV
The misery of living with unforgiveness in your heart always lasts longer than the pain of the offense. Always! When you hold on to resentment, you open the door to depression and physical illness. Forgiving brings healing to your wounds and restores your joy.
Here are two steps to help you forgive:
(1) Remember that you have been unconditionally forgiven. Recall God’s grace toward you, and the price paid for your forgiveness. By refusing to show mercy, you’re like the man Jesus said was forgiven an enormous debt, yet was unwilling to forgive another man’s paltry indebtedness to him (See Mt 18:23-34). The grace God has extended to you leaves you no grounds whatsoever to refuse the same grace to the one who hurt you.
(2) Release the offender from the debt they owe you. You may be totally justified in saying, “They owe me for what they did!” Your friends may agree. The law may agree, and you may be thinking that the only way your offender will “learn to do what’s right” is if they’re made to pay for the wrong they did. But as long as you’re holding on to your “rights,” you’re chained to the past. It has you in its grip, and your future is being held hostage to the past’s control over you. Your offender’s sin against you was paid for by the same sacrificial love that canceled your sin debt, so they have the same need and right to forgiveness that you have. And there is more; forgiveness is not just for their benefit, but for yours:
“Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Lk 6:37 NIV).
The psalmist doesn’t lead off with words like “maybe,” or “perhaps,” or “possibly,” or “hopefully.” No, he says, “Surely,” which is a term of certainty. “Surely” means absolutely; without a doubt! There are a lot of things in life you can’t be sure of. You go for a physical checkup and discover you have a malignant growth. You work in the same company for years believing your job is secure, but they downsize and all you’re left with is a pink slip. You pray for your children, live an exemplary life before them, and teach them what’s right, then you find yourself down at the police station trying to get them out of lockup because they were arrested for drunk driving or doing drugs.
As a redeemed child of God, here are two things you can be sure of: God’s “goodness and mercy.” What’s your concept of God? That’s an all-important question, so think about it before you answer. Your concept of God will determine your confidence in Him.
King David was far from perfect. Indeed, some of his antics would have made the front pages of the tabloids. But he never doubted God’s goodness and mercy toward him: “This I know, that God is for me” (Ps 56:9 NAS). Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb 13:5 NKJV). His goodness guarantees every need you have can be met, and His mercy guarantees that every sin you commit can be forgiven.
So Samuel brought near all the tribes of Israel and the tribe of Benjamin was taken. Then he brought near the tribe of Benjamin by its families. And the family of Matri was chosen. Then Saul the son of Kish was taken. But when they sought him, he could not be found. Therefore they inquired again of the Lord, “Has the man come here yet?” And the Lord answered, “He has hidden himself among the equipment.” So they ran and took him from there. When he stood among the people, he was taller than any of the people from his shoulders and upward. Then Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see him whom the Lord has chosen? Truly there is none like him among all the people.” And all the people shouted and said, “Long live the king.” 1 Samuel 10:20-24 MEV
When Samuel went to present Israel’s first king to the people, Saul was discovered “hiding among the baggage.” The Hebrew word for baggage symbolizes the self-imposed limitations that hinder you from tackling the job God appointed you to do.
Things like these: (1) Feelings of inadequacy. Saul’s first reaction when he learned he had been chosen as king was, “Am I not…from the smallest tribe of Israel…the least of all?” (1Sa 9:21 NIV).
When you fail to figure God into the equation, you will always feel “less than.” Instead of focusing on your weaknesses and inabilities, concentrate on “the incredible greatness of God’s power” (Eph 1:19 NLT). Choose today to see beyond your inabilities, and see the influence God has on your life. We always tend to get what we focus on, so it’s foolish to concentrate on our weaknesses.
(2) Fear of what others might think. The writer of Proverbs tells us “fearing people is a dangerous trap” (Pr 29:25 NLT). And Saul fell into it headfirst! When Samuel confronted him for failing to obliterate the Amalekites, he replied, “I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded” (1Sa 15:24 NLT).
God’s Word assures us, “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. So…we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper…I will not fear what man shall do unto me” (Heb 13:5-6). Once you take hold of that truth and act on it, you will find there is nothing to be afraid of. We live according to the word , the word dwells inside of us .The word is guaranteed in our existence since we are a breathing reflection of the word of God to the nations.
(3) Being overly pragmatic. The Bible says, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways” (Jas 1:8). And Saul fit the bill to a tee! When he didn’t hear from God, he took matters into his own hands and consulted a spiritualist. And after vowing not to victimize David, he repeatedly hunted him down. Adaptability is commendable, but God requires consistency and commitment.
The minute you begin looking at yourself in the manner God recognizes you, your stamina changes for the better. Stop hiding behind baggage and self-condemnation, in his eyes Jesus Christ has washed you clean. This is the season to formulate aggressive moves towards your destiny.
We have been hiding for far too long, enough is enough. In this era, we will take over, no sickness will stop us. Listen we have given excuses far too long, I pray that we embark on this journey together and conquer. Stop hiding behind your spouse or vocation, on this mission we need you. We must reach the ends of the earth with the gospel.
To everyone supporting this mission, we truly appreciate your help. In this season they will be massive testimonies. In this season God is in the business of expanding territories. Your season for promotion is here, come out and quit hiding behind excuses. The anointing that breaks yokes is working right now in your life. Your testimony is now.
Our God reveals hidden mysteries to those who love him. The light of God encompasses us all day long, whom shall we fear? We are no longer condemned but justified through the blood of Jesus Christ. Everywhere you were rejected before they will start looking for you. The Voice of God will communicate on your behalf.
Start celebrating for God has remembered you today !